Party at my psychoanalysts house. I arrive with Masa, Sonae, and Ben. I think it's for his sobriety. He’s serving beers and canned espresso martinis. I see a woman has poured into a small glass. She has white nails and is smoking a cigarette.

that’s fucked up

One of my friends says, reacting to her drinking at my analysts sobriety party. I kind of want one. Isak comes out. He meets my friends and I follow him around for a second. He talks about his sobriety. I head to his roof that has a stair pit like an agora and a large tv, which stands in front of the open Californian expanse.

I go to look for the drinks. In doing so I am alerted by Sarah, she is texting me about something being messed up.

I think she’s making it bad

I respond with filler. I don’t know what she’s talking about. I get to Isak’s kitchen/living room. It’s dark and nobody is in there. I can't find any drinks, just plastic water bottles on the floor. He approaches me from behind.

hey! what are ya doing here?

He comes from in front of me but heads behind me and pulls this red curtain which wraps from one side of the threshold to the space to another.

can you put this in place for me?

Small circular hole on the curtain. Goes around a metal peg that has no variation in its figure at all, just a thick metal circle. I wonder about its ability to hold well.

There is an ornate opening in the middle marked with gold trim. It is like a window. Isak sticks his head through it and makes a funny face.

He brings me outside and I start talking to him. Eventually I have to ask where the drinks are and it feels like I did something bad.

oh, yeah…

He starts explaining where they came from not where they are, then at some point I lose him.

I get lost and check Sarah’s texts

the stylist is coming in now

Oh! She is getting a haircut. I text her saying I can fix it if she doesn’t like it. Zoey bumps into me and I say something about how

oh i thought you were getting your hair cut

She has thin white highlights like Christina Aguilera.

Suddenly at the front. My friends are there. There are people coming out to leave. Seeming like the party is over.

i’m just gonna say bye

I briefly meet two groups of girls who were in attendance. I was wondering who was here and who his analysands were.

oh, which one of you is with Isak

Laughing about being messed up, I trek on.

As I attempt to get to the back roof area, I encounter a small straw or bamboo gate, which I just stretch my legs over to get to the stairs. It faces the back valley, so it makes no sense and feels like I'm breaking in. Did I leave the premises?

I get to the pit. It is late sunset and I think Isak is alone watching the TV. Then I see Anna. As I am about to ask her if I can have a moment alone with Isak, I turn to my right and see two other girls laying down and resting on each other. I bite my tongue.

They are all watching a televised drum circle or something. There is fire. Isak addresses me by referring to a character on the TV

that’s Starter-Man

from Signia? My brain tries to fill in the gaps. I think he just means the guy who initiated the musical fervor.

I wanted to ask him if I could go back to him after hanging out with him in this setting. He was nothing like he was in the office. I didn’t ask him.

The whole dream I feel flashes of noticing his fingernails and toenails. He always wore socks with his Birkenstocks.